Mitch, Seph, Emmit, Johnson and McKinley got to the museum shortly after Todd the Wizard, allowing them to see the end of Snow yelling at Todd for disappearing on her. While Snow was still barking at Todd, he pointed his staff at McKinley and Johnson and froze them both back into statues.
After moving the, now wax, presidents back to their proper dioramas, Blair, Lily, Polk and Buchanan showed up. Emmit ran up to Blair with relived, outstretched arms, but as he got nearer and Blair didn’t reciprocate the gesture, he slowed, grimaced and made a quick hand wave while muttering “hello”. Emmit wanted to prove he cared about Blair’s well being but didn’t want to look like he was trying to prove anything. He just wanted to look how he sincerely felt. Blair noticed Seph didn’t get in to a competition for her attention and partially resented him for it. Maybe he knew she was at prison without being in prison. Maybe he didn’t care now that she was out. President Buchanan though was becoming frustrated that people weren’t introducing him to his American subjects.
-Who are you people?
-I’m tired of introducing myself to every damn president, complained Snow.
-Can we come out yet?
Saying that, President Warren G. Harding and Calvin Coolidge emerged from the manager’s office. Harding perpetually stood in front of Coolidge. Harding knew Coolidge would eventually become president and was glad that his friend was with him, but also still saw him as a subordinate.
-Ah shit, I forgot I put you guys in there, admitted Snow. I was waiting for Todd the Escape Artist to show up.
Harding and Coolidge were the first two president to come to the future and had escaped the museum at the same time. Since then, they had stuck together like a pair of train robbers. They went to the park, courthouse, public library, Wal-Mart and other places. They figured out pretty quickly they were in the future but didn’t know where to go. The two presidents had survived these two days quite easily by eating at fancy restaurants and then running out on the checks three times a day. Concerned that they had eaten at nearly every restaurant in the area, they came back to the museum on their own will and found Snow while Todd was missing. Of course all this information was conveyed by Harding--with Coolidge occasionally giving a single nod in agreement. Buchanan, easily more than anybody else, found this story outrageous.
-You simply ate at establishments and ran away?
-Surprising, I know. But Cal here is actually quite fast.
-And you men become presidents?
-He’s actually my vice-president, but must have become president when I retired. Or will retire.
-You men are disgraceful.
-Who are you?
-I am President James Buchanan.
-And how have you survived these days?
-I was imprisoned for most of it.
-Standard punishment for causing the Civil War, no doubt, said Coolidge.
Buchanan was taken aback. He looked at Polk and the young people from the future to give him reassurance. These men claiming to be future presidents were nothing short of criminals. And disrespectful ones at that. Buchanan knew he had critics but he didn’t know a Civil War had occurred. Even then, it must have been the fault of another president. Buchanan knew he had always acted in the best interest of the country. Before thinking much more, Buchanan was sent back to his own time.
-You should have let me hit him, Blair told Lily.
Emmit and Seph looked at each other. Emmit, without asking out loud, asked if Seph knew what she was talking about. Seph twitched his head just enough to indicate no.
-The man died over a hundred years ago, said Seph to Blair. I think you got your revenge.
Harding asked the people if he could stay and watch a little bit more television before being sent back. He found television to truly be the most remarkable technology in the future. Imagine what you could show people and tell people. It was easily the best way to spread your message and to develop followers. Upon hearing this insight, Seph quietly left the museum.
-Which presidents are still missing, asked Polk.
-I think it’s just Franklin Pierce and John Quincy Adams, answered Snow.
-Old JQA, Mitch sighed. John Junior. Mr. Six. Cue-Ball.
Upon hearing this insight, Polk quietly left the museum. He even saw Seph go to the car but doubted they were leaving for the same reason and thus let him go without interference. Seph never saw Polk.
With little convincing, Harding and Coolidge went over to their own places and waited for Todd to send them back. Harding lamented that he didn’t get a chance to see who’d win the next couple of World Series’. He hoped the Chicago Cubs would regain the baseball dominance they held during the early part of the 20th century. He had a couple of outstanding bets that could be evened out if he had a little luck for the next couple of years. Emmit regretted that he couldn’t help the president out.
-Sorry, but lots of people nowadays think baseball is kind of boring.
-So? People in 1921 thought baseball was boring. Doesn’t mean we didn’t watch.
-And you bet on the games?
-Is there any other way to watch the games?
-I suppose not.
Meanwhile, Coolidge asked Mitch if President Harding knew about his imminent 1923 death. Some said it was a poisoning and it had been bothering Coolidge for a while now. Over the last two days he felt like he was walking, talking and running out on dinner checks with a ghost. Was there any way Harding could be saved?
-They say you don’t talk much, said Mitch.
-They say a lot of things, countered Coolidge.
-Well I would just keep quiet then.
President “Silent Cal” Coolidge wouldn’t mention it to another soul for the rest of his life, including when Harding started his circuitous good-byes seconds later. It wasn’t that Coolidge was particularly quiet, but that he knew how to keep a secret and also felt a president’s words carried a certain power not to be used lightly. President Harding then pointed out that he’d see Coolidge shortly--though it’d be the old Coolidge, which was actually the young Coolidge. Harding was about to make another flip remark when Todd tired of him and sent both presidents back to the 1920s.
Blair felt the smallest pang of regret when the presidents de-animated. Everybody had gotten into such a commotion to send them back, maybe they all missed out on incredible opportunities to learn history from first hand sources. These men had something unique to offer the world, and even if they were jerks, they held a position that required a scope and responsibility that nothing else in life can prepare one for. Knowing nobody else would understand this train of thought, Blair looked around for Seph. He always could see the big picture, but now Blair couldn’t see him. Maybe he was in the restroom.
Lily walked over to Mitch and asked him how had his day had gone, expecting at least one unusual story. Even though Mitch didn’t know why, when Lily touched his arm, he smiled. She hoped Mitch would return the question, or ask her anything, but he didn’t. Also he kind of smelled like rum. Or an alley. Still hoping to draw him into some conversation though, Lily asked Mitch what happened to his hat. This surprised Mitch more than anything that had happened in the last couple of days. Where he did he put his hat? That was a really good hat. Maybe Seph had seen it around.
Except Seph was missing. And so was Mitch’s hat. And so were three presidents instead of two.
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