Chapter Twenty-Three: Vindication

Riding in Lily’s automobile to the police station had been a thrilling experience for James Polk. They could go miles in mere minutes and the roads weren’t filled with horse shit. Polk also thought about all the extra work that could get done by men when women, apparently, drove cars. More exceptionally, Lily claimed she learned how to drive in a few weeks. Blair disagreed, saying Danica Patrick was in fact still trying to find the brakes. This confused and scared Polk, but Lily explained Blair was just joking.

By the time they got to the police station, Blair decided she should give Seph a head’s up on the girls’ situation and borrowed Lily’s phone again. While Lily watched Blair try to reach Seph and briefly hear Emmit not hearing Blair, or something like that, Polk walked up to the elderly officer on watch duty behind the bulletproof glass. Polk, not sure of who he was looking for, asked if a man had been arrested within the last two days who claimed to be the president of the United States. Turned out, yes, they had. President James Buchanan was in a holding cell awaiting a psychologist’s evaluation.

Lily and Blair saw Polk had wandered off without them and ran up to the counter, ready to retract anything Polk had said that could get them all arrested. Polk, offended that the girls would interrupt him talking to a policeman, pulled them both aside and quietly explained that James Buchanan was indeed incarcerated. Destruction of property, under (some kind of) drug influence and, most expectedly, resisting arrest. Polk didn’t know if Buchanan was a real president though or some lunatic. Blair was pretty sure he was real but Lily suggested they leave and come back with Snow, Seph, Mitch and/or Todd the Wizard. Blair wasn’t ready to give up on Buchanan just yet though. She approached the counter again and explained that the man saying he was the president was in fact hypnotized.

The old officer laughed. He turned around and relayed this information to someone else. Apparently hypnotized people had become quite common since the second hypnotism school opened up in the city--as the first one was actually just another money laundering operation. The police had picked up two chickens and one guy who always thought he was naked this week alone. But President James Buchanan--that was an original one. With that, Buchanan was released to Lily, Blair and James Polk.

Surprising everyone, Buchanan recognized James Polk and extended his gratitude until they got into the parking lot. By then, Polk stopped Buchanan and said it was actually Blair Freeman who formed the clever excuse to get Buchanan out of custody. Buchanan laughed.

-Ha! A nigger? Please go on!

Blair snapped her neck around and moved to knock Buchanan back into 1857 with her fist.

-Oh hell no, she said.

Lily jumped in front of Blair and held her best friend back from assaulting the president.

-Mister President, explain Polk. We are in a different time. Race relations are different.

-Damn your sensibilities, Polk. I’m not going to be muzzled by a nig—

-Fuck you, yelled Blair.

-Blair! Get in the car, let’s just go to the museum, suggested Lily.

-Where are your horses? Asked Buchanan, looking at the car.

-Just get in the car you racist bastard before I throw you back in prison where a couple of gang bangers’ll make sure you can’t enjoy modern marvels like indoor plumbing! Know what I’m saying?

-No, I don’t!

-Get in the car!

Lily got into the driver’s seat with Blair next to her. Buchanan and Polk got into the backseat.

-This is absurd, pointed out Buchanan. This contraption will never move without some horses. Unless it has some kind of steam engine. But that seems highly unlikely.

Lily put her key in the ignition but couldn’t turn it.

-Oh shit.

-I think the battery is dead or something.

-Oh shit.

-Is there something wrong, asked Polk--excited for another trip.

-The car won’t work.

-I told you.

-Shut the fuck up, Buchanan.

Before too long, Lily called the repair shop Blair uses over in North Town and had them tow the car there. Despite it being one of the cheaper repair shops, Lily knew this would push her deeper into a financial hole her parents knew nothing about. Lily had been convinced over the last eleven years that she’d strike it rich herself. Even more rich than her parents. But it didn’t look like that was going to happen within the next hour or two.

So the four people eventually got on a bus destined for the museum as the sun ducked behind the city’s skyline. Of the four, though, only Blair had even ridden the bus and paid for all of their fares--though it took considerable convincing from Lily and Polk to pay for Buchanan’s.

From the time of leaving Lily’s car to getting on the bus, Polk had explained to the incessant Buchanan that some of the best presidents had been brought back to life to share their wisdom with people from the future. Polk confirmed Buchanan’s prediction that he was vindicated by history. Satisfied by this reasoning and revelations, Buchanan fell asleep on the bus. This then gave Polk time to ask Blair the real reason they had been brought to the future.

-A wizard did it to teach some friends a lesson.

-A wizard? Those are just for children’s stories.

-Not anymore.

-But why us? Why no Washington or Jackson?

-The museum could only afford the cheapest statues.

-Oh.

Blair then realized what she had said.

-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—

-We were the worst presidents.

-No. It’s just that people nowadays don’t know who you are. But that’s not a bad thing.

Immediately after saying this, Blair realized it was true. Lily, over-hearing the conversation, turned to Polk.

-Mister President, you’ve traveled into the future and adapted well. You’re quite special.

Polk made a slight expression that was difficult to read and turned away from the girls. They started talking to one another about calling Seph and Mitch or waiting until they got to the museum. Polk moved a little closer to some business executive, standing toward the front of the fairly crowded bus. Reading books cost money in the future, fixing automobiles cost money, riding the bus cost money. He got close behind the man and waited for another sudden stop before bumping into the man and taking his wallet from his back pocket. Polk, playing two moves in advance, put the wallet in his jacket pocket and moved back to the girls who, like everyone on the bus, saw nothing.

-I’m not special, said Polk. Everyone’s traveled into the future.